Enhancing My Love Relationship (Part 2)

 Emotional Intimacy

"We are most alive when we find it, most devastated when we lose it, most empty when we give up on it,must inhuman when we betray it,and most compassionate when we pursue it."- Erwin McMannis

To increase emotional intimacy you have to find ways to connect every day!

• Finding time to laugh together. Think about this, when was the last time you had a good belly laugh together?

• Recollect the first time you held hands together as a couple. Can you remember the emotions involved in that first encounter?

Men, women are difficult to understand, it's just the way God made us. Full of emotions (more than what we want most days) and it only takes simple gestures for it to mean the world to us. For example, Calling to say "I Love You" or holding our hands in public, stroking our hair, a random act of kindness. 

( Men try to open up more to your wives. We share enough of our problems with you and now sometimes it's time for us to take the back seat and listen for a bit. We love and care for you and want to know about what has been on your mind as well.)


Women, men are easy to understand  they are more hard wired to understand the physical part of a relationship. Again, it's the way God made them. Emotions are more harder for them to comprehend and deal with. They tend to hide/shelter their true feelings,both sexes need to take time to work on sharing emotion together. 



We will close each time with you communicating to one another. Three questions for you to consider together:

1. What are some qualities about your spouse that caused you to fall in love with them? Take turns sharing these and talk about how some of those qualities might have changed over time. What qualities are still the same?
2. What are some actions that you can take to build your spiritual intimacy with God? with each other? 
3. When is your next date planned? (What? No date planned? Plan one now, make a commitment and stick to it.)

Lord, 

Help us to be quiet at times to listen to our spouses. Give us the will to take time to spend communicating more and connect closer. Thank you for my spouse and continue to strengthen our spiritual intimacy with you, so our marriage will prosper.

In your name we pray

Amen.

Thank you for reading my blog and I hope it continues to offer help for those of you who may need it.

God Bless,

Emily

Enhancing My Love Relationship

1 Corinthians 13:7

"Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

The world defines love much differently than the Scriptures define love. The world defines love as an emotion, strong feelings that you have toward another person. While it is true that love involves strong emotions, that alone will not sustain a marriage.

What we need today is a Biblical definition of love and a consistent expression of that love toward one another. The Bible defines love not as something that you feel, but rather something that is given to you.

We are here today finding our marriages in different stages, in different situations, some are healthy and others are not. You need to be honest regarding the present reality of your marriage. 

Beginning with intimacy, What is your definition?

To me it means a close warm affectionate relationship, which both feel understood, safe, and loved.

1. Spiritual Intimacy- The Bible describes the most intimate and profound love as Agape. 

• Spiritual intimacy is the most critical area in your marriage.
• Spiritual intimacy involves changing yourself spritually. Deepening your intimacy with God.

(Do this with your spouse) Turn to John 15. Find statements in verses 5-8 that reveal the kind of relationship that Jesus would ask of you?

 As I answered on my paper, I put being the true vine. (This is what I feel he would ask of me. Each answer is different,and would be taken as you feel God speaking to you.)

As each spouse grows closer to God, they become intimate with the Father's love. As they become intimate with the Father's love, they are able to reciprocate that in their marriage. Before you can love your spouse more, you have to love him more.

Other things to discuss are areas of your marriage that may need to be worked on. What are some right now that you need? Talk with your spouse on this and write down what comes to mind. Here are some examples for you that may need improvement.

• Communication  
• Conflict Resolution
• Finances
• Parenting
• Sex
• Spiritual Growth
• Household Task
• In-Laws

       How do you feel your marriage is? On a scale of 1-10. 1 being totally miserable and 10 being absolutely perfect. Where are you at today?

Next We talk about the Emotional need in a marriage....

God Bless you and your marriage.

Sister In Christ,

Emily

Introductions & Where We Start...

On this new journey I will share my experiences with you.

I am currently trying to strengthen my marriage with God along by my side. He has to be the center of my marriage in order for it to work properly as he commands. Constantly praying and being an intercessor for my husband. I believe in prayer and it works. Here is our story and it grows daily...

Kyle and I met in October 2011. We met online. We talked for about a month and had decided to meet each other for a first date. On Nov. 8th 2011 I was driving home from work on the interstate. I received a phone call from Kyle, little to both our surprises we were meeting each other sooner than expected. He was in front of me on the interstate headed the same direction. We both decided we couldn't wait any longer and met at the gas station off the exit we both get off of. As I pulled into the station, I could feel the butterflies in my stomach swirling. Bright lights pulled up beside me and both engines shut off, I sat nervously in my car. I waited for him to get out and come to my window. I opened my car door and said Hello! with a quiet shy voice. He and I shared a short hug spoke shortly and then headed home. It was quick, short, and sweet.

On December 25th 2011 Kyle asked me to marry him. I said Yes! We were not engaged very long. We met at the courthouse and were married on August 3rd 2012. We both had been previously married and did not want a big wedding. It was small, sweet. It was us. 

 Kyle & Emily 8/3/12

We have been married one year and are ready to let the rest fly by with ease... or so I thought.

I have been a firm believer in Christ and I have been reborn through him. I love the Lord and ALL he has done for me. I was unaware of the road that lied ahead of me. Kyle's faith was not as strong as mine. It bothered me. I am used to going to church, reading my bible, praying and spending time alone with God. After a month or two had passed I stopped going to church, I stopped being the christian I knew God had planned out for me to be. 

In November 2012, I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd child. I have 2 daughters from a previous marriage. We found out we were having a son and were very excited. I prayed and prayed to have a son, someone who can one day lead a Godly home. Things in my marriage were great but still I felt something missing, all the physical and emotional values were leveled between us. What else could there be? Spiritual reassurance was missing in both our lives and hearts. One month before it was time for me to have our son, Kyle accepted Christ as his savior. I was floored. I had been praying for Kyle all this time and had almost given up on the one thing that kept me going..all along God never left us. He saw our marriage was beginning to go down slope and answered my prayers. 

On August 9th 2013 our son, Lucas was born. A sense of peace came over me and in the room,I felt a hand on my shoulder and a soft voice in my ear.You did it. He's beautiful. I Love You. My husband comforted me and became the man I had been praying for. He was right by my side, my best friend, my everything. I silently prayed thanking God for our son and that I was giving him to the Lord. The children are on earth for us to raise in his ways but they belong to him. I thanked him for my husband and asked that he continue to work on his heart and keep him guided down the paths of righteousness.

Fast Forward to today.. 

Earthly stumbling blocks seem to keep my husband away from church, the bible, prayer, family time. Why God, Oh Why? Things were beginning to be wonderful again, and then this. Our church has started a married couples class on Sunday nights to grow closer to God to grow in marriage. I have been twice so far and both times I have been by myself. It's hard going to church, taking the kids and keeping my faith strong. As I continue to stay strong faithfully for myself, my husband, and my family I will never stop praying for God to intervene and awaken a dead marriage to be brought to light!

Like they say tomorrow's a new day, a new start.. until then Be Blessed, Not Stressed!

 *~*Emily*~*